Meg Gitlin, The City Therapist
Meg is a psychotherapist who specializes in supporting highly motivated professionals as they navigate both personal and professional transitions by helping them to better understand themselves and their goals. Her strategies center around improving interpersonal relationships, managing anxiety, and building coping mechanisms. She is committed to de-stigmatizing mental health and changing the outlook on how people view therapy. Better known as the City Therapist on Instagram she has amassed a loyal following from her very authentic and inspirational posts. She can often be found contributing her expertise to media outlets such as Huffpost, Refinery29, and NBC News.
Raised in New York, by two psychotherapist parents, a curiosity about psychology and mental health was instilled in her from a young age. As a young girl, she found herself naturally attuned to the emotional states of those around her. She felt this from an early age with friends and family and then, as her world expanded, with peers and colleagues. She began to earn a reputation as someone who could be trusted to both listen and give advice that felt intuitive and not preachy. Inspired by her parents’ love of helping people, she too realized she felt her greatest sense of purpose when supporting people she cared about during difficult times.
She went on to pursue a Master’s in Social Work at NYU and then completed an additional two-year training program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy along with receiving additional training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She spent the next several years at working at Mount Sinai Hospital supporting the chronically ill and their families. Her time working there allowed her to see just how unexpected change and lack of control are among the most disruptive and unnerving experiences people face. This being true for both those coping with incredibly challenging moments as well as those trying to simply get by in the everyday.
According to Meg, “therapy is a place to explore your relationship to the unknown and learn tools that can empower you to feel less anxious and avoidant of this inevitable part of life leaving you energy to focus on the things you can control. This skill set often called psychological flexibility and while it doesn’t always minimize your pain, it helps you learn to tolerate it better.”
Meg began her private practice in 2018 with a commitment to de-stigmatizing mental health and changing the outlook on how people view therapy. Her goal is to change the perspective from something that signifies weakness to an investment in yourself that can help you lead a more fulfilled and meaningful life. In reality, the same instincts that lead us to seek help for physical ailments are often waylaid by stigma, fear and lack of access to good information about therapy and treatment options.
She is committed to providing therapy that is both compassionate and practical. Meg wants to help her clients explore their hopes and fears by working together to take the necessary steps to develop richer, more rewarding lives. As a young, motivated professional herself she has an understanding of the unique challenges her generation faces and she’s using this position to share information and resources so that they have the options and knowledge to seek the help they both need and deserve.
To find out more information on working with Meg look her up on Alma and follow her @citytherapist.
What is your secret to living a high-vibrancy life?
My secret to living a high vibrancy life is to spend time really reflecting on what things make me feel most connected to my purpose and then being thoughtful about how I can maximize the time spent doing these things. That doesn’t mean I’m doing things that make me feel fulfilled 100 percent of the time, but it does mean I’m strategic in how I spend both my time and energy.
I recognize that being able to do this professionally is a luxury and that not everyone is able to. For those who aren’t currently working in a role that they feel passionately about, I would encourage them to identify things and activities that 1) bring them joy 2) make them feel productive or 3) align with their values. Then spend some time thinking of ways to weave them into their lives outside of the office.
How do you balance work, wellness and spirituality?
I learned very early on in my career that I cannot possibly be a good therapist if I do not prioritize my own wellness. If I don't, the burnout always comes and impacts my effectiveness and ability to not only help myself but to help others. For me, this looks like regular exercise, and a network of supportive therapists who I can turn to.
Was there any one significant event that that moved you onto the path of becoming the woman you are today?
I wouldn't say it was one event, but cumulative experiences in my 20s that helped me realize I felt happiest and most alive when I was listening to those who didn't feel heard and holding space for them. These moments were not always memorable one on one, but had an impact on me collectively.
Personal Mantra?
If things aren't going right, go left. This is ONE of my mantras, and it's to remind myself of the power of flexibility. Admitting you were wrong is one of the most liberating things a person can do. I also think it speaks to the importance of not taking yourself so seriously and treating certain things in life as an experiment. I always encourage clients who are resistant to try things out (i.e. setting boundaries with a loved one), and know that they can always change course. I find that framing things in this way gives people license to do things that would have previously scared them.
What did discovering what you wanted to do professionally in the healing and wellness world look like for you?
For me, it was being curious about what parts of past jobs made me feel fulfilled. It always came back to the human interactions. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that both of my parents are psychotherapists, so it was somewhat woven into the fabric of my upbringing.
What is your process or methodology as a psychotherapist?
As a therapist, I always say "I am very active in the room." Meaning, my default is not just sitting there and listening. While I recognize the value of holding space when needed, I feel that I am in my element as a therapist when I am asking probing questions, challenging beliefs and encouraging incremental but meaningful changes. We set action items that support the individuals’s therapeutic goals and I work flexibly with them so that it feels collaborative and positive while not forced. This type of therapy is not for everyone, but I find it leads to the greatest gains for my particular client base.
Are there any skills or life behaviors that you think everyone should be working on or developing in order to live their best high-vibrancy lives?
Flexibility, a clearer understanding of each individual's values, and an acceptance that discomfort and pain are part of life.
So many women feel stuck career-wise right now either in jobs they don't like or many are unemployed and not finding work that motivates them. How do you suggest someone gets further clarity on purpose and career direction?
Start by making a list of five companies or industries that make you excited. Reach out to anyone in your network who does something that you're interested in and ask them about it. Don't wait for an available job. People LOVE talking about themselves and are usually flattered. Maybe they’ll even think of you the next time something opens up. -
I find that many people wait until they feel "ready" to start the job search. They inevitably get frustrated when it takes way longer than they'd like. Think of it not a job search but as taking an active interest in opportunities. Be curious about things that interest you. The worst that can happen is you waste an hour learning about a job or industry that you don't ultimately end up pursing.
Do you have tools or processes that you use in defining goals and values with patients?
I actually have a long list of values that I review with clients. It's super specific and surprising to people who think values all come down to things like "family, money, work." I ask people what they ideally would like to remember about their life when looking back. This isn't always easy for people who feel misaligned but is a good kick in the ass to get going.
Do you have any suggestions for natural or easy ways to keep our mindset positive, motivated and productive during this pause?
For me, it's reframing this time. I keep hearing people refer to this year as "a pause" or "not real life" when in actuality, it's the realest things have ever gotten! Yes, we are missing our "normal lives" but there's so much value in flipping the script. Have we ever been so challenged? So resilient? I encourage my clients to give themselves credit for what they've been through and the storm they've weathered. Sometimes taking a moment to take stock of and acknowledge adversities is a wonderful way of encouraging ongoing productiveness and motivation.
What is the best professional advice you've received in your career?
Most things in life are not personal and nothing in life worth doing comes easily.
Do you follow any particular doctrines on diet to support your health?
I eat pretty light during the day and enjoy a big dinner. Probably not what a nutritionist would recommend but it works for me!
What are your favorite forms of activity?
Pre-covid, I used to love barre classes. Now, I work with a trainer because it feels safest. I love weight training and boxing.
Are there any productivity or focus hacks you swear by?
Making lists!!!
What are someways to integrate wellness into everyday?
Movement. Getting off your phone.
How do you "reset" during a challenging time or off day?
Spending time with my 6 month old or lying down for a half an hour nap.
In my free time, when I have any, you can usually find me __________.
Reading.
I always want to learn more about__________?
Ways to help my clients live their best, most meaningful lives.
Advice to the Woo🖤Woo Working Women out there figuring out how to live their best high-vibrancy life?
Starting with small changes or actions will build up your belief in your ability to make the big ones. Making these changes may feel uncomfortable at first, but its important to remember that doesn't mean they are wrong! In fact, it means that you are growing and tolerating this feeling is part of it. This skill set is called building self-efficacy and its incredibly important to leading a high-vibrancy life.
