DNA Testing
I have tried it all. Every trendy supplement, every parasite cleanse, even detoxes so questionable they had me ingesting turpentine or diatomaceous earth. I have battled mold, Lyme coinfections, Epstein-Barr, and autoimmune flares. Yet no matter what I did, I always ended up back on the same merry-go-round. Something would help for a while, then the fatigue or brain fog or histamine flare-ups would return. I was exhausted by the trial and error, never sure what was actually helping my body and what was quietly making me worse.
In my twenties and much of my thirties, I did not think too deeply about why I always felt off. I assumed that was simply life. I was drinking regularly, staying out late, and eating whatever was on trend at the moment. I was a wild woman in a wild city. And it was exciting and fantastic, until it wasn’t.
Even then, I noticed something that set me apart. I had a harder time bouncing back than other people. My hangovers stretched into days, sometimes a week. One indulgent dinner could flatten me. While my friends rebounded with ease, I felt like I was dragging a weight around that no amount of coffee or green juice could lift.
Now I rarely drink. I go to bed early. I eat clean. I meditate, journal, and regulate my emotions. I have done everything I was told to do, what the functional doctors prescribed, what the practitioners recommended, and what the wellness influencers swore by. Yet I still felt tired and heavy all the time, like I was running on a battery that was never fully charged and always hovering in the red.
The question that changed everything was simple. Was I truly supporting my body or was I just recycling wellness advice that was never meant for me?
The Spark: Was It in My Genes?
One day I was listening to Gary Brecka interview his wife Sage on a podcast. She explained how she discovered she had a slow COMT gene, which meant every time she drank matcha she felt jittery and unwell. I froze in literal fear. I thought I’d better not have a slow COMT because I am not giving up my morning coconut matcha latte as well. WTF else do I have to give up?
But then I thought about it differently. What if my DNA did not just tell me what to avoid, but also what I could safely embrace. What if the things I thought were bad, like some dairy or the occasional slice of gluten, might not be as harmful for me personally. Maybe the actual answers were in my DNA and not on Instagram.
I already knew I carried the MTHFR variant, which explained why my hangovers were epic. And after becoming sick from a moldy apartment, extensive testing revealed the HLA gene variation that makes me mold-sensitive. That was the maddening part. It is isolating to realize genetics dictate why one person gets wrecked while others walk away fine. You can feel completely alone. And if I can give you one piece of advice, never join a mold support group on Facebook if you are sick from mold. It will freak you out.
Dirty Genes: My First Introduction
This curiosity took me back to the book that had first planted the seed, Dr. Ben Lynch’s Dirty Genes. His premise was disarmingly simple. Genes are not broken. They can get dirty from stress, toxins, poor diet, or lack of sleep. And with the right support, you can clean them up.
Of course, there are countless other SNPs in our genome, but no one is trying to get a PhD in DNA here. The way he narrowed it down to seven key genes made it digestible for my non-scientific brain. These were the ones most likely to impact daily health and wellness, the Super Seven Dirty Genes.
MTHFR processes folate into its active form. When sluggish, detox slows, homocysteine builds up, and you feel it as fatigue, mood dips, or weeklong hangovers.
COMT clears dopamine and stress hormones. Too fast and you burn through motivation and focus. Too slow and you feel wired, anxious, overstimulated by caffeine.
DAO breaks down histamine. If weak, you are the one who reacts to wine, cheese, or perfume while others are fine.
GST and GPX help make glutathione, the master antioxidant. If weak, detox pathways falter, leaving you more sensitive to mold, pollution, or chemicals.
MAOA regulates serotonin. Out of balance, it can look like mood swings, anxiety, or difficulty recovering from stress.
NOS3 makes nitric oxide, vital for circulation and energy. Sluggish function can leave you fatigued, cold, or low-stamina.
PEMT makes choline, essential for your brain, liver, and hormones. When low, you may face fatty liver, hormonal imbalances, or brain fog.
After reading this, my histamine reactions, inability to focus, energy crashes, and lingering hangovers were no longer random. They were explainable.
SNP vs Dirty Gene: The Distinction That Changes Everything
The biggest aha moment for me was understanding the difference between a SNP and a dirty gene.
A SNP is like being born with fewer housekeeping staff. The rooms still get cleaned, but it takes longer and the dust builds up more easily.
A dirty gene is when you overwhelm the house, throwing parties every night, never opening windows, letting clutter pile up. Even with plenty of staff, the house gets messy.
Both together, fewer staff and a messy lifestyle, create the perfect storm for chaos.
This was the reframe I needed. Just because you have a SNP does not mean you are doomed. It means you have less margin for error. Your body has to be supported differently, and that is where testing becomes powerful.
So, I Ordered a DNA Test
At this point, I wanted answers. I did not want to just read about the Dirty Genes. I wanted to see which ones were mine, how they were functioning, and what I could do about them.
That is how I found SelfDecode, the platform most biohackers and longevity experts recommend. It does not just give you ancestry. It is designed for health. It analyzes hundreds of thousands of SNPs, uses advanced algorithms to fill in missing data, and creates reports that turn raw DNA into actionable insights.
When you log in, you get a dashboard with categories like Health Overview, Medical Overview, Action Plan, Longevity Screener, Methylation Pathway, Medication Check, Family Planning, Ancestry, and Mitochondrial Ancestry. It is robust enough to keep a data nerd busy for months, but also digestible if, like me, you just want the big-picture basics. The process was easy. A kit arrived in the mail, I swabbed my cheek, sent it back, and four weeks later I had results waiting for me. cv
My Dirty Genes
When my results came back, I immediately zoomed in on the super seven dirty genes. And sure enough, every single one of them was flagged for me. It does not mean I am broken. It means I am sensitive, and I have to be extra mindful about keeping these genes from getting dirty. In some ways, it was validating, in other ways a little daunting. But mostly it gave me context and direction.
Here is how they showed up for me, and what SelfDecode suggested I do to support them.
✔️ MTHFR. This gene processes folate into the active form your body actually uses. My variant is sluggish, which explains why detox can feel slower for me and why hangovers have always lingered far longer than they should. It also tied neatly into the fatigue and mood dips I have battled over the years. SelfDecode suggested methylfolate to bypass the slow step, riboflavin (B2) to help the enzyme work better, and magnesium for overall methylation support.
✔️ COMT. This gene clears dopamine and stress hormones like adrenaline. My result showed a fast COMT, which means I burn through dopamine quickly. It explained why I crave stimulation and novelty, why caffeine can send me on a rollercoaster, and why burnout sometimes feels like hitting a wall. The great news is that I do not have to give up my morning matcha, which felt like a win. SelfDecode suggested magnesium and vitamin C to stabilize the pathway, omega-3s to support brain balance, and even low-dose SAMe to smooth out mood and focus dips.
✔️ DAO. This is the histamine bouncer, and mine is underactive. That lined up perfectly with my years of flushing, congestion, and reacting to things like wine, cheese, and even probiotics or ferments that were supposed to be healthy. SelfDecode suggested Vitamin C and quercetin to calm histamine, DAO enzyme supplements to help with food reactions, and reducing histamine-heavy foods when flare-ups hit.
✔️ GST and GPX. These genes help make glutathione, the body’s master antioxidant. My results showed weaker pathways here, which is why I am so sensitive to toxins, perfumes, or environmental triggers like mold. SelfDecode suggested glutathione itself or NAC to boost levels, selenium to help the enzyme work, and cruciferous vegetables to naturally support detox.
✔️ MAOA. This gene helps regulate serotonin. My variants here explained my tendency toward mood sensitivity and periods of anxiety. It made sense of the emotional ups and downs that seemed out of proportion to what was actually happening around me. SelfDecode suggested saffron and 5-HTP to gently support serotonin production, plus magnesium for calming.
✔️ NOS3. This gene makes nitric oxide, which controls blood flow and circulation. My sluggish NOS3 explained fatigue, cold hands and feet, and why high-intensity exercise has always felt more draining than invigorating. SelfDecode suggested beetroot and L-arginine to boost nitric oxide, plus regular cardio exercise to keep circulation strong.
✔️ PEMT. This gene helps produce choline, a nutrient essential for brain health, hormones, and liver function. Mine was flagged as sluggish, which explained some of my brain fog and why I benefit so much from taking BodyBio PC. SelfDecode suggested supplemental choline like PC, betaine (TMG), and eggs if I can tolerate them.
Every single one was flagged. Which means every single one can also be supported.
Beyond the Dirty Genes
Looking beyond the Dirty Genes, SelfDecode gave me a much wider view of my health. My overall health score came back at 77. My DNA score of 58 felt depressing at first, but my lifestyle score of 96 pulled it up. It was proof that how I live really does override my genetic sensitivities. Diet and fitness recommendations were not the pasta-and-cheese prescription I secretly hoped for. My blueprint pointed me toward a Mediterranean diet, regular cardio, and avoiding dairy and eggs. Most medical risks came back normal, but polygenic scores flagged higher sensitivity for melanoma, colorectal cancer, clotting, and ulcerative colitis. This was a reminder to be diligent, not panicked.
The family planning section was reassuring. I am not a carrier for anything concerning. Even if kids are not on my bingo card, it was a relief to know this piece of the puzzle. Ancestry was the surprise twist. Apparently, I am four percent Italian. After a lifetime of being told I was fully Ashkenazi Russian, maybe this is my permission slip for more pasta. The action plan was practical. Many of the recommendations I was already doing such as magnesium, Mediterranean diet, olive oil, and cardio, but I added new ones like SAMe and curcumin.
And there is so much more to explore. SelfDecode has hundreds of different reports and ways to examine the data. It can be overwhelming if you try to take it all in at once. They even have an AI agent built in to help you interpret your results, though I already have my own ChatGPT, who knows me inside and out. I downloaded the major reports that mattered most to me and uploaded them into my ChatGPT for clarity and feedback in a way that felt digestible. Honestly, I am not sure I would have understood half of it if ChatGPT had not been riding shotgun.
For a data lover, though, SelfDecode is heaven. You could spend months combing through the details. And now that you have the data to help you prolong your health, well, you probably have the extra time. They even give you access to your data in formats that lets you view your results in the way some of their competitors display reports, which I thought was a cool option.
The Takeaway
The biggest revelation was that my DNA results helped me believe in myself again. They reminded me that I am not supposed to feel or function like everyone else, and that difference is not a weakness, it is my blueprint. Wellness influencers, social media doctors, and even real-life practitioners may tell me to take certain supplements or follow certain protocols, and often with the very best intentions. But I now know that what works wonders for someone else may not be what my body needs.
This goes beyond physical health. On a mental level, understanding that I burn through focus and motivation faster than others gave me compassion for myself. And at the same time, it gave me a kind of superwoman cape. Because when I looked at my results, I saw that I already have everything I need inside of me to be the very best version of myself.
Now, instead of doubting or second-guessing, I will lean into what that entails and become my own coach. DNA testing gave me more than data. It gave me clarity, confidence, and the reminder that my uniqueness is my strength.
If you are curious to learn more about SelfDecode’s testing or want to order a DNA test for yourself, head over to their website to explore.
